💤 The culture of sleep-shaming: While waking up early is perceived as a measure of a driven and successful lifestyle, it’s exactly that notion that could be preventing us from getting enough rest and sleep. Over the years, “hustle” culture and the unyielding desire to do everything, everywhere, all at once to achieve a semblance of a work-life balance have led us to forsake one of our most basic physical needs: sleep. Leisure time — or simply doing nothing to rest and recuperate — has become unjustifiably linked to idleness… and failure. So, why has a culture of shame festered around sleep, why do we feel guilty getting enough hours of it, and how can that change?

Yes, sometimes we’re made to be ashamed of our sleeping habits. If you’ve ever been told off for leaving an evening engagement early to get some rest or shunned by loved ones for occasionally missing out on plans to get some R&R post-9-5, chances are you’ve come to associate a proper good night’s sleep with a subconscious sense of shame. According to the Wall Street Journal, obsession with “productivity” is the culprit.

The early bird gets the worm — or does it? Society often equates moral (and professional) value with waking up early and getting productive from the get-go, engraining within us the belief that if we’re not up and running by the time the rooster calls, we’re not our best selves. Thus, shame sets in — and with that, sleep becomes even harder.

The roots of shame

The culture of shame around sleep starts off early — much earlier than you’d expect. A study, which surveyed over 2k Chinese adolescents aged 12-18, found that adolescents worried that peers, teachers, or parents would judge them as lazy for “wasting time” on sleep, with 39% linking sleep to a lack of productivity and 27% equating it with failure. Of those surveyed, 58% said they have deliberately cut hours off their sleeping schedule to simply “catch up” with their more productive, academically-leading peers.

More so, they were found to hide the fact that they needed rest, fearing social pressure. In short, the study found that stronger shame led to poorer sleep quality, with 83% of participants sleeping six hours or less and reporting severe shame around sleep. In China, 78% of parents blamed excessive sleep on failure, leading to insomnia and burnout, the study further noted.

Hustle culture

As adults, we tend to fall victim to the same loop as well. Hustle culture — prioritizing constant work, busyness, and achievement above downtime — instills within us the belief that constant work is the only path to success. Productivity thus turns toxic, and ambition becomes a harmful compulsion, according to Riaz Counselling. As things stand, the line between professional and personal lives is very thin, and achieving work-life balance is a Herculean feat as it is. In attempting to fill our calendars after hours to maintain social connections, we end up forsaking sleep.

Is social media to blame? Platforms such as Instagram, TikTok, and X, by heavily amplifying and romanticizing the idea of hustle culture — with influencers constantly posting about waking up early, maintaining a trove of side gigs, working constantly, and somehow still making time to fulfill personal needs — have made space for unrealistic expectations to take root. For the average Joe or Jane attempting to do the same, chronic stress, burnout, and bouts of depression soon manifest, and the inevitable failure to meet such expectations feeds the shame cycle, according to Riaz.

Revenge procrastination

Oftentimes, despite being exhausted and with nothing to do, we might avoid sleep too, opting to “doomscroll” on our phones instead. This is known as sleep procrastination — a desire to avoid sleep to “reclaim” one’s own time. This often manifests in individuals with highly demanding roles and comes as a result of a perceived lack of control over one’s own schedule. If you’ve had a long, stressful day, your cortisol levels carry over to your evenings, and you might find yourself seeking immediate gratification over rest, according to Psychology NSW. In turn, another cycle is set into motion, leading to sleep deprivation, which then leads to daytime fatigue and ultimately burnout.

So, what can you do to avoid getting sucked into the sleep shame rabbit hole? Know that your need for sleep is biologically hardwired, and not a character flaw. Prioritizing sleep — regardless of societal or peer pressure — is of utmost importance. The equation of adequate rest with laziness or failure is but a mirage — and a fatal one at that. Getting your share of sleep, which differs from one person to another, is how you sustain productivity and wellbeing, and thus success.

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