🎒September not only marks the end of the summer, but the start of something a little less fun for both children and adults: the start of school season. Between lunch box prepping, school-supply shopping, uniform fittings, and bus schedules, it’s very easy to find yourself overwhelmed as a parent. But checking in on your children as they begin a new year of school is perhaps the most pivotal role you need to play.

GOING BEYOND “HOW ARE YOU”-

Often times when checking in on children, parents may fall unwittingly fall into the trap of strictly asking dichotomous questions — ones that almost always guarantee a simple yes or no answer. Questions such as “Did you have fun today?” “Did you eat your packed lunch?” or “Do you have a lot of homework to do?” are all necessary, but they leave virtually no room for further discussion unless prompted.

Instead, when discussing school with your kids, try to ask open-ended questions that pave the way for a proper conversation, however brief. Drawing upon the aforementioned examples, you might want to rephrase your questions to “What was a fun part of your day today?” “Would you like to have the same thing for lunch tomorrow?” or “Are you feeling overwhelmed by the amount of homework you’re getting?” Asking open-ended questions not only encourages conversation, it stimulates cognitive development, builds communication skills, and helps alleviate social anxiety.

Asking questions is simply the first step in the journey to fostering positive communication. Every interaction — whether verbal or physical — constitutes communication. According to UNICEF, everything from word choice to facial expressions can make or break a conversation:

#1- LISTEN AND LEARN: Active listening is one of the most important factors when it comes to establishing solid communication. Maintain eye contact, employ physical cues such as nodding your head to signal that you’re listening, and keep track of your facial expressions. Asking follow-up questions will encourage your child to further elaborate, and will signal your interest. This, in turn, positively reinforces your child’s understanding of what constitutes healthy communication.

#2- STAY CALM AND CONTROLLED: Children may choose to omit certain truths or actions in fear of a negative response from their parents. Even when the matter at hand proves problematic or bothersome to you as a parent, it’s pivotal to maintain proper communication practices to encourage your child to seek guidance and support from you without fear of judgement. If a child believes they will not be punished or shunned for saying certain things or relaying certain behaviors, trust strengthens. Science-backed advice that’s been in practice since 2012 (pdf) notes a few “hacks” when communicating with your child: avoid preachy sermons, encourage talking about feelings, and avoid words with negative connotations.

#3- ESTABLISH REGULAR CHECK-IN ROUTINES: It’s no secret that routines help fosterpositive behavior and encourage responsibility — whether it’s bedtime routines or post-school systems. Another routine you should consider establishing is one for in-depth conversations. Aside from the daily check-ins, you should plan to have a lengthy conversation with your kids at least once a month to make sure you’re not missing any major milestones or changes in their school experience. Plan to have this discussion at a time where you both have the energy for it and the privacy to discuss freely.

#4- KNOW WHAT QUESTIONS TO ASK: Throughout the school year, “you need to be asking questions that inspire reflection,” Khaled Salaheldin, a counselling psychotherapist, told EnterpriseAM. “Questions like ‘What are you looking forward to at school?’ ‘What makes you feel worried at school?’ and ‘what makes you feel safe at school?’” Salaheldin suggests. In turn, parents should reflect on what their own worries are for their child at school, what support they will need throughout the school year, and where their parental strengths (and weaknesses) lie based on previous school experiences.

“There needs to be an emphasis on psychological safety. Your child needs to feel that they can come to you with difficult things to discuss.” Salaheldin says. “Parents, in turn, should also share emotions and difficult topics when appropriate to model this behavior,” he adds.

HOW TO DEAL WITH BULLYING-

It’s important to maintain consistent communication with your children, as sometimes you could simply be unaware of what they’re going through at school. Bullying is all but uncommon, and the repercussions can be disastrous. According to June 2025 UNICEF data, over 70% of Egypt’s youth aged 13-15 were bullied at least once in the “past couple of months.” Bullying can take many forms — physical, verbal, social (such as ostracization), psychological, or cyberbullying. Academically proficient students, introverted students, and new transfers are most likely to experience bullying, according to UNICEF.

Even when proper communication practices have been established, oftentimes children may choose not to speak about being bullied. This could be attributed to feelings of embarrassment, fear of negative consequences, or threats from the bully. Should your child choose not to speak up, there will still be signs you need to consistently watch out for. “Subtle signs of bullying or negative experiences may include unexplained physical symptoms, such as stomach aches, or changes in mood, such as increased irritability or withdrawal from certain activities.” Salaheldin says. There’s often extra emphasis on not wanting to attend school, sleep and food patterns change, and the dead giveaway is often a decline in academic performance, he adds.

Don’t just watch for signs your child is being bullied — also watch for signs they might be bullying others. UNICEF notes that most children who are “bullies” have themselves been a victim of the behavior before. Lack of a familial support system or negative relationships with parents may also encourage bullying behavior as a means for the child to exert control or gain attention.

If children exhibit ideas that support violence, even if framed in a humorous manner, it’s worth discussing. Aggression with family members is also a sign to look out for, and a lack of empathy is often a telltale sign of aggressive behavior at school. It’s worth noting, however, that oftentimes bullies consciously avoid demonstrating any signs of their behavior in front of family members.

EFFORT OVER END RESULT-

When communication and trust are established, it’s time to divert your attention to the day-to-day technicalities. When it comes to thriving throughout the school year, routines can work magic, and can actually help improve health — “mainly circadian rhythm and emotional regulation,” Salaheldin says. He suggests daily preparations for the morning ahead, whether that’s backpack packing, meal prepping, or otherwise, noting that the bonding exercise further strengthens the child’s sense of psychological safety.

“Empathy, resilience, flexibility and thriving take precedence over just surviving [the school year],” Salaheldin says. It’s important to adopt a growth mindset, rather than a deficit approach when dealing with children, he emphasizes, which entails focusing on your child’s strengths, rather than their weaknesses, and using that strength as a springboard to pivot into improving upon weaker areas. In practice, this would mean more focus on healthy study approaches over just grades, avoiding comparisons with peers, and setting realistic expectations for your child. “Comparisons are counterproductive to the idea of motivation,” Salaheldin says. “Meet your child where they are, not where you want them to be,” he adds.

That said, the school year isn’t just all about school. Amidst busy — and often contradictory — schedules, make some time to keep your entire family engaged, whether that be Friday gatherings or shared rituals. Encourage your child to pursue extracurricular activities, and set “protected times,” which Salaheldin notes are “activities your child needs to be certain will take place regardless of anything.” This means consistency in study time, play time, rest time, and social interaction. Extracurricular activities — be it creative or physical — should be encouraged. “The introduction of these habits can help your child down the line in terms of how they deal with their own mental health,” he adds.

Last but not least, check in on yourself. Just as your child may need support, you do as well as a parent. It’s not a walk in the park, and seeking help is pivotal. It takes a village, and resources are always available. Among the online resources to fall back on when the going gets tough are the American Psychological Association, Child Mind Organization, UNICEF Parenting, and the Center for Disease Control.

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