Gen Alpha are the first digital natives, meaning they are the first generation to have grown up online. With more and more signs pointing to the drawbacks of ever-present screens and social media in children’s lives — like dwindling attention spans and weaker fine motor skills — how can parents ensure that their children are safe online?

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Long story short, we need to ensure that children stay safe whilst also allowing them to retain their growing sense of independence during formative years. Author of The Anxious Generation Jonathan Haidt sees technology as a tool, and also recognises the real dangers of the online world. In lieu of resorting to tracking children online, he advocates for thorough preparation of the dangers of the internet — ensuring children know how to protect themselves online and understand the key ideas of maintaining their privacy. “We need to prepare our kids to handle life and know that they can come out the other side,” Andrea Keith, executive director of Haidt’s Let Grow foundation, told Enterprise. “Building trust is key,” she notes. “It’s better for kids to go to the park with friends and a phone, than not to go at all.”

So what is the right approach when it comes to tech? Early interventions work well to establish healthy tech-habits from early childhood, according to a study published with the National Library of Medicine, something Keith seconds. But beware the micromanager: Psychologist Jon Lasser says “it’s important for kids to develop the capacity to self-regulate [...] and parents who try to micromanage screen time can inadvertently interfere with that self-regulatory development.”

THE FUNDAMENTALS

There are basic rules that can help parents foster a helpful relationship between kids and tech, according to the Mayo Clinic medical center, who advocate for “supportive screen behaviors” rather than ones that are more controlling.

Some basics for young children (2-5 years old):

#1- TRY IT OUT FIRST: Preview apps, games, and programs your child will use to see if they’re appropriate. You’ll be able to see the kind of content they’ll be exposed to, as well as if the apps will engage your child in the right way.

#2- KEEP THEM CLOSE BY: If your child is nearby whilst using tech, you can easily check in to see what they are watching and interacting with, and avoiding the isolating atmosphere of a child being shut away alone with a screen.

#3- ASK THEM ABOUT IT: Keep on top of what they’re seeing and interacting with by asking what they’ve watched or played with today. This goes hand in hand with Let Grow’s idea of building trust and openness with kids and screens so that they feel comfortable to tell you about anything uncomfortable they’ve come across.

#4- ENCOURAGE INTERACTION: Interactive games are more beneficial for children as opposed to simply staring at a screen passively. Engaging activities can help brain stimulation and stave off the side effects of too much screen time, like dwindling attention spans.

When they get older, clear rules and limits are key:

#1- TIME LIMITS: Setting limits for screen time will help set boundaries, encourage children to self-regulate and reflect on their screen use, and avoid the dangerous mental and physical dangers of too much screen time.

#2- SCREEN-FREE ZONES: Keeping certain places, like bedrooms and the dinner table, tech-free can help establish some well-needed distance from devices, encourage the important in-person interaction that screens disrupt, and can better regulate circadian rhythms to improve sleep quality.

#3- ELIMINATE IDLE BACKGROUND USE: Think no scrolling whilst eating, watching TV, or doing homework. Phone use during those activities can decrease their productivity and ability to focus on and/or enjoy the main activity.

#4- ADDRESS DANGERS HEAD ON: Encouraging digital literacy and critical thinking when it comes to the internet is key, with the Mayo Clinic recommending parents speak directly to the children about why being online can be dangerous and what to look out for — the DOs and DON’Ts about who they contact and what they share.

#5- AS ALWAYS, COMMUNICATION IS KEY: Keeping an open line of communication and healthy relationships around media will make sure children can speak to you should they feel weird about something they’ve come across online, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends.

A HANDS-ON APPROACH

There are plenty of parental control apps that can help you keep tabs (no pun intended) on your child. For parents looking for something in their devices’ own ecosystem, both Apple (ScreenTime) and Android (Google Family Link) have setups that give parents basic options like setting screen time limits and viewing what apps their kids access.

There are also paid or subscription-based options that offer more advanced features:

#1- QUSTODIO’s basic package can be used to monitor games, location, and web content, as well as block certain apps on up to five devices, as is priced at USD 55 annually. The premium plan is priced at USD 100 and includes alerts, customizable routines, app insights, time limits on games and apps, call and message monitoring on an unlimited number of devices.

WHERE TO GET IT- The app can be installed from the website or through your device’s app store (iOS | Android), and you’ll need to download it on your child’s device as well.

DISCLAIMER: Qustodio is great for Android users, but has its drawbacks on iOS. The iOS version is limited, as the app monitoring feature isn’t available. Notifications to the parent’s device are sometimes glitchy, and the panic alert option isn’t available.

#2- KIDS360 claims to offer digital safety without compromising your child’s privacy. Its features include time screen time limits on apps, including games and social media, usage schedule customization, and compiling statistics for your benefit. You can choose between duration-based plans that range from USD 8.99 for one month to USD 69.99 for a year.

WHERE TO GET IT- You will need to download and install Kids360 (iOS | Android) and its accompanying interface Alli360 (iOS | Android) on you and your child’s devices respectively.

#3- SUZY, for if you’ve got an iPad kid. Suzy lets you block apps, web browsers, and app downloads with a touch of a button, and can implement set time limits and customized schedules. It can also reward your child with screen time for using educational apps, or use them as a prerequisite for access. You can also set limits and allow apps based on each child profile for shared devices.

WHERE TO GET IT- Suzy is available for both iPads and iPhones (iOS) and offers duration-based subscription plans that range from USD 9.99 for one month to a premium annual plan for USD 49.99.

However parents choose to proceed, understanding the appeal of tech, “especially [...] to teens seeking autonomy and identity,” is important, says the Center for Internet and Technology Addiction, as is establishing trust and encouraging independence, whilst staying aware of risks.

IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO DETOX

We’ve all seen toddlers in prams glued to their iPad, but it’s more than possible to change the screen habits of children who are already too attached to their devices, with lots of advice to be found. In a nutshell:

#1- HAVE ALTERNATIVES AT THE READY: When encouraging kids to put down devices, having a list of other activities to do is key, so that their non-screen time will be fun, interesting, and motivate them to continue. Sports, activities, painting, puzzles, and board games are all great alternatives.

#2- OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND: Keeping the devices you’re trying to avoid in a drawer or a different room will remove the visual trigger that gives kids the impulse to start using their screens, making the descreening process a whole lot easier.

#3- PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH: It’s no good telling kids to stay off screens if you yourself are constantly glued to one. This is especially important for older children who are looking to be treated like adults with more independence. By reducing your own screen time whenever possible, it sets a fair standard for children and displays behavior they can model.

#4- NEW ROUTINES: It’s helpful to identify the times throughout the day when kids reach for their devices the most and think about ways to disrupt this impulse by introducing a new routine that doesn’t involve screens.

#5- ENGAGE WITH THEM: As many, especially younger kids, have grown up with screens, sometimes they may need some help in sparking their imagination for non screen-based play. This will also give them the interpersonal interaction that screens don’t.

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