With the rising use of social media, people tend to develop parasocial relationships, a one-sided bond where a person could develop a connection or familiarity with someone they don’t actually know — usually a celebrity or an online personality. They develop very real emotional ties, and in extreme cases, can convince themselves that the relationship is reciprocal even though there’s no interactivity.

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While social media makes this phenomenon more common, parasocial relationships aren’t new. Psychologists Donald Hortion and R. Richard Wohl came up with the term in 1956, when they realized that people were developing an “illusion of intimacy” with people they see on TV. “Prior to social media and the internet, people still talked a lot about admiring movie stars, athletes or some sort of public figure that they created a bond with,” according to clinical psychologist Adam Borland. “And it was more than just being a fan back then, too. Parasocial relationships are about having a really strong identification and sense of connection.”

Everyone’s experienced it at some point — it’s not uncommon, and it’s not necessarily alarming. For example, people can feel extreme sadness when watching a character die on a TV show, or trust a news anchor they’re familiar with, or buy products a social media influencer endorses, also out of trust. These are all examples of parasocial relationships, which are on a sliding scale and aren’t always as extreme as they are perceived in popular culture.

Celebrities get the long end of the stick: Having fans who have developed a parasocial relationship means big money for people in the public eye. Huge fanbases feed into critical business and PR strategies that make up for most of a celebrities’ revenues and often help shield them from criticism. For example, Taylor Swift, who has 94.4 mn monthly listeners on Spotify, will make an estimated USD 100 mn from the platform this year, but will be making almost USD 2 bn from touring and concert merchandise.

But why does it happen? There are a number of psychological theories that explain why we can develop a parasocial relationship. The social cognitive theory, which refers to how a person is drawn to and learns from the behaviors they observe, suggests that someone may become a fan of a celebrity or public figure who exhibits similar traits, or traits they admire. Because an empathetic connection has been established based on commonality, fans of a public figure often become entrenched in the collective identity, and can change their traits or beliefs to mirror the celebrity’s. A collective feedback loop makes it difficult to separate from the fanbase.

Attachment theory provides another explanation. How someone is introduced to relationships at an early age impacts how they continue to perceive relationships throughout their life. Those who have insecure attachment styles are able to find comfort in these one-sided relationships, where rejection simply does not exist, so people with this type of attachment style are more prone to developing parasocial relationships.

It’s not all bad: While it doesn’t necessarily require a person to be socially isolated, parasocial relationships can actually create a sense of companionship for people who are lonely, in more ways than one. One study showed that parasocial relationships can be attributed for the creation of communities made up of likeminded individuals, or create inspiration and motivation for lifestyle changes — sometimes for the better, like going to the gym after seeing a celebrity’s workout routine.

But it’s also not all good: People are only exposed to a minor part of celebrities’ lives — typically the part influenced by sponsorships and business arrangements — and the willingness to believe whatever the person they’re bonded to says can lead to the spread of misinformation. Along with that, these relationships may sometimes get out of hand, disrupting a fan’s real-life relationships, and leading to more harmful extremes like obsession and stalking. Eminem’s song Stan — which originated the term stan as a synonym of a die hard fan — tells the story of an obsessed fan who spirals and commits crimes simply because the rapper wasn’t responding to his incessant fan mail. While the story of the song isn’t an exact depiction of real-life events, it was inspired by Eminem’s real experiences.

Then comes the breakup… A dark part of parasocial relationships is when they end, such as when a celebrity or a fictional character dies. The issue with parasocial breakups is that they cause genuine feelings of grief yet are harder to cope with because they aren’t exactly socially accepted. According to Kenneth J. Doka’s book Disenfranchised grief: New directions, challenges, and strategies for practice, these so-called breakups “incur a loss that is not or cannot be openly acknowledged, publicly mourned, or socially supported.”

A recent case of this would be the public mourning that took place over the death of One Direction’s Liam Payne — thousands of fans publicly shared their grief both in person, outside of the hotel where he passed away, and online for a singer they never knew personally. “I think it’s important to allow for that sense of mourning. Allow for the sense of loss, sadness and disappointment just as though it were a close personal relationship,” Borland said.

Understanding parasocial relationships provides insight into the complex ways modern media and technology shape our emotional connections. While these one-sided bonds can offer comfort, inspiration, and a sense of community, they also carry potential risks of misinformation, obsession, and emotional disconnection from real-world relationships.

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