{"id":641491,"date":"2017-09-25T04:16:21","date_gmt":"2017-09-25T04:16:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/enterpriseam.com\/egypt\/2017\/09\/25\/activist-investors-taking-over-your-kid\/"},"modified":"2017-09-25T04:16:21","modified_gmt":"2017-09-25T04:16:21","slug":"activist-investors-taking-over-your-kid","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/enterpriseam.com\/egypt\/2017\/09\/25\/activist-investors-taking-over-your-kid\/","title":{"rendered":"Activist investors taking over your kid?"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a> Activist investors mounting a bid for your kid?<\/strong> Activist investors from Quonset Point Capital (QPC) are mounting an activist campaign to takeover \u201cBrande,\u201d a three year-old. That\u2019s the premise of illustrator Zoe Piel\u2019s hilariously on-point parody activist proxy fight pitch deck<\/a> (pdf). QPC has a full plan to unlock Branden\u2019s potential and specializes in \u201cimproving underperforming children.\u201d It seeks to \u201cmaximize shareholder value through strategic engagement with parents,\u201d and while it is sympathetic to parents, it is \u201cprepared to<\/p>\n

nominate replacements when necessary\u201d as \u201cparental deficiencies\u201d are \u201cresulting in destruction of shareholder value.\u201d QPC qualified nominees for the board include: Keith Webster, Jr, who spearheaded sharp reduction of daughter\u2019s Breyer horse collection; Brenda Beppo, who successfully averted major tantrums in multiple ShopRites; and Mark W. Dealy, who is not mad, just disappointed. The plan to improve Branden\u2019s efficiency includes shifting to ice cream cake to curb birthday party expenses and replacing the usual four bedtime stories with just two. H\/t Matt Levine\u2019s Money Stuff<\/a>.<\/p>\n

The soundtrack for this morning\u2019s edition was provided by <\/strong>The Black Clouds\u2019 release <\/strong>\u201cAfter All.\u201d<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0It\u2019s proof that uptempo, grungy riffs are still being made \u2014 and produced by Jack Endino, who helped create the signature sounds of early Soundgarden, Green River, Nirvana, TAD, Screaming Trees, L7\u2026 the list is seemingly endless. Check out this playlist on Apple Music for more of Endino\u2019s work behind the board.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Activist investors mounting a bid for your kid? Activist investors from Quonset Point Capital (QPC) are mounting an activist campaign to takeover \u201cBrande,\u201d a three year-old. That\u2019s the premise of illustrator Zoe Piel\u2019s hilariously on-point parody activist proxy fight pitch deck (pdf). QPC has a full plan to unlock Branden\u2019s potential and specializes in \u201cimproving […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":641492,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"single-feature.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"newspack_ads_suppress_ads":false,"newspack_popups_has_disabled_popups":false,"newspack_sponsor_sponsorship_scope":"","newspack_sponsor_native_byline_display":"inherit","newspack_sponsor_native_category_display":"inherit","newspack_sponsor_underwriter_style":"inherit","newspack_sponsor_underwriter_placement":"inherit","ep_exclude_from_search":false,"_primary_brand":0,"newspack_featured_image_position":"","newspack_post_subtitle":"","newspack_article_summary_title":"Overview:","newspack_article_summary":"","newspack_hide_updated_date":false,"newspack_show_updated_date":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7204],"tags":[72,74],"brand":[],"newspack_spnsrs_tax":[],"class_list":["post-641491","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-what-were-tracking-today","tag-enterpriseam","tag-what-were-tracking-today","wpautop","entry"],"acf":{"mongo_id":"7b6d9958-e64a-427d-9eeb-4618fd173cdf","order":"0","is_powered_by":true,"section_story_id":"cb20e341-4110-4588-b2fb-f56462741f49","story_type":"1","photo_url":"https:\/\/ent.news\/2017\/9\/1768.png","photo_position":"above","related_issue":[641488],"teaser":"","voice_url":""},"yoast_head":"\nActivist investors taking over your kid? - EnterpriseAM Egypt<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/enterpriseam.com\/egypt\/2017\/09\/25\/activist-investors-taking-over-your-kid\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Activist investors taking over your kid?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Activist investors mounting a bid for your kid? Activist investors from Quonset Point Capital (QPC) are mounting an activist campaign to takeover \u201cBrande,\u201d a three year-old. That\u2019s the premise of illustrator Zoe Piel\u2019s hilariously on-point parody activist proxy fight pitch deck (pdf). 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Activist investors typically purchase minority stakes in public companies and attempt\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Capital markets"","block_context":{"text":"Capital markets","link":"https:\/\/enterpriseam.com\/egypt\/category\/industries\/capital-markets\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ent.news\/2022\/8\/332.jpg?fit=%2C&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":679119,"url":"https:\/\/enterpriseam.com\/egypt\/2025\/12\/29\/starmer-under-fire-over-support-for-activist-alaa-abdel-fattah\/","url_meta":{"origin":641491,"position":1},"title":"Starmer under fire over support for activist Alaa Abdel Fattah","author":"enterpriseam admin","date":"29 December 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"If you thought his arrival in Britain would see activist Alaa Abdel Fattah leave the headlines, you thought wrong. The Egyptian-British national faces backlash from the right wing after past social media posts deemed \u201cviolent and offensive\u201d resurfaced, with UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer facing just as much criticism after\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "EGYPT IN THE NEWS"","block_context":{"text":"EGYPT IN THE NEWS","link":"https:\/\/enterpriseam.com\/egypt\/category\/egypt-in-the-news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ent.news\/2025\/9\/1354.jpg?fit=%2C&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":638899,"url":"https:\/\/enterpriseam.com\/egypt\/2017\/10\/17\/what-were-tracking-on-17-october-2017\/","url_meta":{"origin":641491,"position":2},"title":"What we\u2019re tracking on 17 October 2017","author":"enterpriseam admin","date":"17 October 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"The EGX30 got slammed yesterday, retreating 2.7% on a volumes that were about 52% above the trailing 90-day average \u2014 and underperforming on the regional and global fronts. The selling pressure came in the way of foreign institutions, which looked as though they were locking in profits after a good\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "What We're Tracking Today"","block_context":{"text":"What We're Tracking Today","link":"https:\/\/enterpriseam.com\/egypt\/category\/what-were-tracking-today\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ent.news\/internal\/536550.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":637023,"url":"https:\/\/enterpriseam.com\/egypt\/2017\/11\/06\/nubian-activist-gamal-sorour-dies-in-detention\/","url_meta":{"origin":641491,"position":3},"title":"Nubian activist Gamal Sorour dies in detention","author":"enterpriseam admin","date":"6 November 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Nubian activist Gamal Sorour died in detention on Saturday, the Associated Press reports. \u201cSorour\u2019s death was reported Sunday by prominent rights lawyer Ragia Omran and Sorour\u2019s longtime friend and fellow activist, Haggag Oddoul. Omran says his funeral will be held Sunday.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "ON YOUR WAY OUT"","block_context":{"text":"ON YOUR WAY OUT","link":"https:\/\/enterpriseam.com\/egypt\/category\/on-your-way-out\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ent.news\/internal\/536550.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":628912,"url":"https:\/\/enterpriseam.com\/egypt\/2018\/05\/16\/activist-arrested-over-charges-of-insulting-the-president\/","url_meta":{"origin":641491,"position":4},"title":"Activist arrested over charges of \u201cinsulting the president\u201d","author":"enterpriseam admin","date":"16 May 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Egyptian activist Shady El Ghazaly Harb was arrested yesterday on a number of charges that included membership in a terrorist organization, Arabic Reuters reports.","rel":"","context":"In "Egypt Politics + Economics"","block_context":{"text":"Egypt Politics + Economics","link":"https:\/\/enterpriseam.com\/egypt\/category\/egypt-politics-economics\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ent.news\/internal\/536550.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":643396,"url":"https:\/\/enterpriseam.com\/egypt\/2024\/09\/08\/ultra-rich-families-are-set-to-control-usd-9-5-tn-by-2030\/","url_meta":{"origin":641491,"position":5},"title":"Ultra-rich families are set to control USD 9.5 tn by 2030","author":"enterpriseam admin","date":"8 September 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Loose restrictions are leaving family offices with more power in financial markets","rel":"","context":"In "PLANET FINANCE"","block_context":{"text":"PLANET FINANCE","link":"https:\/\/enterpriseam.com\/egypt\/planet-finance\/\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ent.news\/2024\/8\/1602.jpg?fit=%2C&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/enterpriseam.com\/egypt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/641491","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/enterpriseam.com\/egypt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/enterpriseam.com\/egypt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/enterpriseam.com\/egypt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/enterpriseam.com\/egypt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=641491"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/enterpriseam.com\/egypt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/641491\/revisions"}],"acf:post":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/enterpriseam.com\/egypt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/issue\/641488"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/enterpriseam.com\/egypt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/641492"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/enterpriseam.com\/egypt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=641491"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/enterpriseam.com\/egypt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=641491"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/enterpriseam.com\/egypt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=641491"},{"taxonomy":"brand","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/enterpriseam.com\/egypt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/brand?post=641491"},{"taxonomy":"newspack_spnsrs_tax","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/enterpriseam.com\/egypt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/newspack_spnsrs_tax?post=641491"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}