{"id":582073,"date":"2023-02-24T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2023-02-24T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/enterpriseam.com\/egypt\/2023\/02\/24\/want-to-win-the-water-war-talk-to-your-bawab-or-get-ready-to-pay-a-hell-of-a-lot-more-for-h2o\/"},"modified":"2023-02-24T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2023-02-24T00:00:00","slug":"want-to-win-the-water-war-talk-to-your-bawab-or-get-ready-to-pay-a-hell-of-a-lot-more-for-h2o","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/enterpriseam.com\/egypt\/2023\/02\/24\/want-to-win-the-water-war-talk-to-your-bawab-or-get-ready-to-pay-a-hell-of-a-lot-more-for-h2o\/","title":{"rendered":"Want to win the water war? Talk to your bawab \u2014 or get ready to pay a hell of a lot more for H2O"},"content":{"rendered":"

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<\/span>Abu Ahmed and the rest of his army in the People\u2019s Democratic Republic of Maadi are up <\/span>with the roosters<\/span> and in the streets. Some are clad in overalls and rain boots, others in their \u2018emmas and galabeyas. <\/span><\/p>\n

Their weapon of choice: the water hose<\/span>, which they wield in fulfillment of their duties at any <\/span>cost \u2014 \u2018til the last drop of water in the nation, if need be.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

That hose is magic, a time machine of sorts<\/span>, transforming Abu Ahmed and his comrades into <\/span>schoolkids armed with water guns \u2014 running wild and out of control.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

They hop from one car to the next, our aquamen do, making sure our cars shine bright <\/span>like diamonds.<\/span> Never mind that Rihanna didn\u2019t have cars in mind \u2014 or that we live in Cairo, where a trip from my house to my mothers\u2019 (a 15 minute drive) leaves my sparkly clean car covered in enough dust to serve as a canvas on which school children can leave me sweet messages.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

As the good people at the nation\u2019s water utility companies can tell us, the waste doesn\u2019t <\/span>stop there:<\/span> Once the cars are washed, our friends turn their weapons on our dusty streets and sidewalks, filling holes in our uneven roads as if to make up for the lack of rain. The result? Wonderful water puddles through which cars can splash unapologetically, soaking pedestrians left and right. Day after day, the puddles erode the pavement, enlarging potholes that never seem to be fixed.<\/span><\/p>\n

(If there\u2019s one lesson we\u2019ve learned in recent years, it\u2019s that bridges are seemingly easier to <\/span>build than roads are to pave. The last significant stretch of pavement to be resurfaced in Maadi, at least, was pre-2011.)<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

As a self-appointed member of the Water Waste Patrol, I do my best to keep order in my <\/span>neighborhood<\/span> \u2014 terrifying men quadruple my size as I urge them to drop the hose. Heck, I can extract a confession from some without lifting a finger.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe hose is the holy grail of the perfect wash,\u201d<\/span> Abu Ahmed brags when I ask him why he\u2019s <\/span>using so much H2O. \u201cThe bucket or the cloth alone gives the car a depressed shine that shows I did my job half-heartedly.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

A few blocks over: \u201cThe streets need tarteeb<\/span> (hydration) \u2014 water breathes life into our dead <\/span>streets just like when you take a sip to revive yourself on a hot day. We never run out of water. We\u2019re sons of the Nile River,\u201d says Amm Salama, the king of moisturizing.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Amm Salama is absolutely right \u2014 the Nile breathes life into our nation. <\/span>Without it, we <\/span>would be pure desert. It provides water for drinking, fishing, agriculture \u2014 nourishing this great civilization that it created in the first place. The problem is that our ancestors would be rolling in their sarcophagi if they could see how we waste our bounty. The Pharaohs were mindful of their resources, treasuring the Nile like no one else. If Amm Salam had wasted water on the Volvos and Mercedes of their time, they\u2019d have thrown him (not a virgin) into the river as a sacrifice.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

State officials have been telling us for years that we\u2019re in the midst of a crisis \u2014 an era of <\/span>water poverty<\/span>, generally defined as a per-capita share of water now less than 1k cubic meters per year. <\/span>How bad is it here in Egypt? <\/span>As the planet continues to warm, we have just 550-560 cubic meters per person per year \u2014 and it\u2019s getting worse. Is it any wonder that the state is now spending bns to line canals? To move us to less water-intensive forms of agriculture? Or that we\u2019re losing our collective [redacted] about the Grand Ethiopian Renaissance Dam? Three-way talks between Cairo, Khartoum and Addis Ababa remain stalemated.<\/span><\/p>\n

The price tag is huge: <\/span>The state\u2019s 20-year program to push into desalination, expand wastewater<\/span> treatment, and move to modern irrigation methods is going to cost (at a bare minimum) USD 50 bn over 20 years. <\/span><\/p>\n

The stakes are high: Water poverty and food security are two sides of the same coin. <\/span>And <\/span>as an import-reliant nation, we import as much as 54% of our \u201ctotal\u201d water needs \u2014 virtual water embedded in the commodities we buy on global markets. <\/span><\/p>\n

The water deficit is stark<\/span>, according to the ministry of irrigation and water resources: We need <\/span>nearly 114 bn cubic meters of water a year, and our overall share from the Nile is no more than 55 bn, implying a deficit of more than 60 bn cubic meters. <\/span><\/p>\n

And there\u2019s just one thing we can do immediately (and at zero cost): Ban Abu Ahmed and <\/span>his buddies from using water hoses. <\/span>Make it illegal for shop owners to douse the sidewalks and streets in front of their shops. Crack down on gardeners who let hoses run for hours on tiny strips of land. <\/span><\/p>\n

We wouldn\u2019t be alone: <\/span>From the United States to the United Kingdom, governments facing <\/span>drought have implemented water patrols (and fines) to clamp down on banned forms of irrigation, overwatering, overspraying, and the hosing down of hard surfaces. <\/span>And in nations of snitches, neighbors are being prompted to rat each other out <\/span>if they catch someone breaking a ban. <\/span><\/p>\n

The punishments? <\/span>First-time violators usually receive a warning. In the UK, folks using water <\/span>hoses during periods of bans face fines of up to GBP 1k.<\/span><\/p>\n

The worst of it is, we have had similar regulations on our books \u2014 we just don\u2019t enforce <\/span>them. <\/span>Years back, the governor of Cairo and local district council officials rolled up their sleeves and worked with other authorities to clamp down on the wasting of water. They combed streets for shop owners and residents mismanaging water. They trumpeted the daily number of violators they busted \u2014 and, inevitably, their campaign ran out of steam. <\/span><\/p>\n

Consistency breeds results \u2014 and the on-and-off approach to addressing our nation\u2019s <\/span>water crisis is a testament to its miserable failure.<\/span> The selective, partial, and inconsistent enforcement of the law is a chronic disease of our society. Fix that and we\u2019ll kick [redacted], as my Pilates instructor would tell you.<\/span><\/p>\n

Look, friends, you all know we\u2019re not fans of new taxes. But we also tell you regularly <\/span>that the best way to get rid of unwanted behavior is to tax it. <\/span>The time has come for the authorities to ramp up what they charge everyone \u2014 every flat, every building \u2014 for water. The average household water bill in England and Wales was GBP 200 in the year ending March 2022. <\/span>How much did you pay for water last year \u2014 if anything at all?<\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

Sorry, guys. Nothing personal<\/span>. Or as Billy Crystal as Dr Ben Sobel once said, \u201cDon\u2019t kid <\/span>yourself, Jelly. It doesn\u2019t get more personal than this.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t want to make our inflation problem worse? Talk to your own Abu Ahmed. Today. <\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

As for me? I spoke with Abu Ahmed, bless him. And we made progress \u2014 of a sort.<\/span> <\/span>Now, he hoses down every car in our building \u2014 except mine, the black sheep of the block. <\/span><\/p>\n

ANALYZE THIS is a regular Enterprise Weekend column by the Mother of the Resident 15 <\/span>Year-old.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Abu Ahmed and the rest of his army in the People\u2019s Democratic Republic of Maadi are up with the roosters and in the streets. Some are clad in overalls and rain boots, others in their \u2018emmas and galabeyas. 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